Since the Olympics finished up last week, Chuck was back on the 1st. And since chuck is back, my blog reviewcaps are back, too. I know you’re giddy with anticipation. Or maybe you’re just excited that these posts are after the jump so you don’t actually have to see me blather on about a show you don’t watch, BUT TOTALLY SHOULD.

Join me after the cut for a breakdown of the total drama times ten that happened last week.

Chuck and Hannah's First Meeting

Hannah would like to know if it'd be totally cool if she joined you after the jump, started working at your job and invited you to meet her parents after one date. You know, because she's cool like that and not totally desperate.

The big plot catapult for this episode was that Chuck was required to fake his identity and pretend to be a hitman. The hitman was captured and they found out who his connection was (cute cameo from some Sopranos guys) and they went to the goomba bar, Chuck proved himself and went to go shoot the mark, which just so happened to be Shaw/Superman. Chuck is going to fake taking the shot and he realizes that Sarah is in there with Shaw and Sarah tells Shaw her real name (a completely anti-climactic Sam, seriously, double-you tee eff?) and Chuck is crushed. He goes over there to “fake” fight Shaw and then the goombas get whacked by the real hitman and then the hitman goes to fight Sarah, Shaw and Chuck and then Casey saves every0ne. The action for this episode was definitely top notch, a fun fight scene with Chuck and then a fake teeth-pulling, it was all in good fun.

The sub-plot was more about relationships and that was definitely an interesting spectacle. Ellie goes to confront Chuck about his secrets and bumps into a freshly showered Hannah, which, hello, awkward and then Hannah gets invited to a family dinner. At the Buy More we see Hannah and Chuck being one of “those” couples as she constantly clings to him and they play kissy face all day. Lester, Jeff and Big Mike could not be more jealous of Chuck’s game. Chuck and Hannah have dinner with Ellie and Awesome and Hannah makes a speech about how she feels like she’s in the best place ever and she’s totally content and happy and she’s so glad she’s spending time with the BF’s family. Then she asks Chuck to go have dinner with her parents, because they’re totally at that level after having known each other for maybe two weeks and dating for about half that time. Before Chuck goes to dinner he’s about to have a break down where he tells Ellie everything, but instead she guesses that he’s nervous because things are moving SO fast with Hannah. At the dinner, Chuck pulls Hannah aside and breaks up with her because he hates that he has to lie to her. Hannah freaks out.

Now, listen, I get that Chuck picked the absolute WORST time to break up with a girl, but here’s the thing: Hannah was moving way too fast. She slept with him after the made out at work (not even a real date) met his family, wanted him to meet her family and- oh yeah- WENT TO HIS PLACE OF BUSINESS TO GET A JOB SO THAT SHE COULD BE CLOSER TO HIM. If she wasn’t so pretty, that’d be borderline stalking. It was a movie that was more reminiscent of a high schooler’s actions, not of a mature adult. Hannah and Chuck had a lot of potential, she just jumped the gun way, way, way too fast.

I mean, come on, Sarah and Chuck waited two whole seasons before hooking up and now they still have Drama (capital D necessary) and Chuck is still head-over-heels for her. But now, sadly, Sarah (I feel weird calling her Sam) and Shaw have totally hooked up and so Chuck is sad and lonely again.

Poor guy. My advice, Chuck: date outside of the girls you meet at the Buy More. Seriously, you can only find drama when the women you meet are always wanting you to fix their crap.