He can kiss away the pain
He will stand by you forever!
He can take your breath away…

Oh wait, sorry, this isn’t schmaltzy song karaoke.

Episode 3.12 of Chuck was titled Chuck vs. American Hero and I have a heard time thinking of American Hero without thinking about Enrique Iglesias’ timeless ballad “Hero” or G.I. Joes, Real American Heroes! But hey, enough about early aughts song-smiths and childhood classics, let’s talk Chuck, shall we? Before I get into any potential spoilers for the uninitiated to the Chuck saga, let me send out a plea…

Please watch Chuck. It’s another show “on the bubble” this year and despite the (decently) strong ratings the first half of the season, the show has been trying to regain momentum after the drop in ratings after Daylight Savings Time.  It doesn’t help that the show has to compete with gag Dancing with the Stars… of course it doesn’t hurt either that NBC’s ratings are so overall terrible that the slump in ratings for Chuck isn’t that horrendous in comparison.

But still, watch Chuck! Especially if you are a Nielson family. And if you know a Nielson family, hijack their box for one night and play Chuck. The powers that be of scripted shows and not poorly danced pseudo-celebrity reality competitions will thank you.

Also, the cast was at WonderCon being Ahhhhdoooorabul and also asking for your viewership. Case in point:

Zac and Josh Daddies!?!?!

To borrow a phrase from the internet: "lol, whut?"

Now since the cast has promised an AMAZING episode tonight (plus all of the critics who saw the screening last night concurred) let’s talk about vs. The American Hero, shall we?

So. The episode boils down to this. Chuck gets a week to decide “straighten things out” before he jets off to Rome AND by the end of the week he gets to pick his own team of super spies to go with him. Chuck (naturally) wants Sarah, but wants her to come on her own terms so he must win her back. He heads back to Burbank to win his love back, but then gets depressed, but then The Three Bromigos (see what I did there?) (aka Morgan, Casey and Awesome) decide that his depression is weak sauce and that he totally needs to win back Sarah so everyone can “Veevah Eetahliah” (say that like a pizza selling cartoon character). Then, when Chuck mans up (after Awesome throws a man through a window, no seriously, it happened) and tells Sarah he loves her, he finds out that she’s with Shaw (blah) and then finds out that Shaw has gone to sacrifice himself so that they can destroy a Ring base with the leader inside. When Chuck realizes that Shaw means everything to Sarah, he locks Sarah in Castle so that he can try and save Shaw. Now, before I go any further, I wanna show you a comparative image, I saw on tumblr the other day. It’s quite revealing…

The difference between Shaw and Chuck

...

-First Image Set-
Shaw:
Castle has a self-destruct program built into it in case of catastrophic events like this. I’m calling Langley to activate it now.
Sarah: You can’t destroy the Castle, Chuck is down there.
Shaw: So is every piece of intelligence we have. Not just on the Ring… everything.
-Second Image Set-
Sarah: He’s still unconscious but the doctors say he’ll make a full recovery. Thanks to you.
Chuck: Well, I mean, you know, he would’ve done the same for me.

(Original here)

I mean… That says a lot right there. Shaw is not only wooden, but a dweeb. And I’m not a Chuck/Sarah shipper (I think Sarah is just being obnoxious with the relationship at this point and liked that quick second when they were separate and only sort of with Hannah and Shaw and their respective relationships hadn’t gotten annoying yet), but regardless Shaw equals Captain Antithesis Awesome. Don’t ask me if that’s supposed to make sense or not.

Anyway, back to the plot. Chuck goes to the place where the transmitter in Shaw is supposed to be, but surprise surprise (only to Chuck, we saw it 3 minutes beforehand), Shaw is gone and the transmitter is covered in spit. But lucky for chuck Jefster makes an amazing stalking duo and they direct him to Shaw’s locale. After Chuck gets there he rides on a hokey Dr. Pibb Jibb machine and heads into the belly of the Ring hideout (not the headquarters, I’m to presume, that would have to be in Mordor, yes?) and shoots a couple of spies and saves Shaw through a hail of explosion debris and the thanks of Miss Walker (who made it there after she Morse coded for help to Casey). BUT WAIT! There’s more. Before Chuck saved Shaw, Shaw was knocked unconscious. But before that! A hologram of the Ring leader showed him who killed his wife (aka, the person Shaw vowed to kill). And guess what? Sarah totally killed Mrs. Shaw for her red test.

Whoops.

Chuck doesn’t know this and neither does Sarah, so while they’re hanging out in Castle while Shaw’s hanging out in Unconscious-ville, they discuss other things. Like sitting in a tree… K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Ha. But no, Chuck asks her to run away with him that night (before they have to go and do their spy things) and asks to kiss her. They kiss then, they’re supposed to meet up later. But woe is Sarah, she thinks Chuck is a cold-blooded killer since he won’t reveal the truth about the red test.

Knock, knock? Who’s that? Casey. Casey who? Casey who’s visiting Sarah to tell her that he killed the Ring informant, not Chuck. Sarah smiles (Oh, come on! I mention Iglesias, I have to throw in Hall and Oats!). Has she made her decision? Well she’s packed and throws her gun on the bed (that’s a terrible tip for the maid, Sarah).

But then Shaw comes a-knocking! And he says he’s found out where the ring leader is! And they need to go right then! And no, she doesn’t have time to Call Chuck! And they drive off!

Chuck stands dejected in the train station when the general calls. In Castle, she tells him that they can’t find Sarah. And that they recovered the video footage of Sarah killing Mrs. Shaw. And they think Shaw has Sarah.

WHAT WILL THEY DO!!?

Well I guess we’ll tune in tonight to find out, won’t we?

You’d better. Or else. Or else, I’ll… make you buy a Subway Footlong. Yea, that’s the ticket.

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